Rabbi Berg's Religious Chain Stores
22 Sep 2005
What is the Kabbalah? It is an esoteric system of interpreting the Torah—the first five books of the Old Testament. The Kabbalah claims to have been handed down orally from Moses. According to Jewish mysticism, God gave Moses both an oral and written law at Sinai. The written law—the Torah—can only be properly interpreted by those who know the oral law—the Kabbalah. The Kabbalah supposedly stipulates that it can only be studied by someone who is fluent in Hebrew and at least forty years old. If a student meets these two requirements and is willing to devote years to its study, the Kabbalah promises to unlock for that student the secrets of creation.
Orthodox Jewish scholars have long renounced the Kabbalah as Jewish occultism dating back to the 11th century. Still, this renunciation by Jewish scholars has not impeded Philip Berg’s ability to market this cryptic hoax to the rich and famous through his Kabbalah Centre. Berg, a former insurance salesman, teaches a pop version of Kabbalah as “a lifeline, an energy booster, an ego-dimmer, a self-improvement tool and a key to unlocking the secrets of the universe.”
In Berg’s version of Kabbalah, no knowledge of Hebrew or serious study is required. Instead, one is taught to merely scan the Hebrew text of the Torah. When asked how “scanning” the text enlightens practitioners who can neither pronounce nor understand the actual words on the page, Berg answers, “You pick up the phone and call Tokyo…You’re not sure how the phone works, but you use it anyway. We do things all the time without understanding how they work.”
Based in Los Angeles and resembling a chain store more than a religious movement, Berg’s burgeoning religious empire is selling courses, books, tapes, and Kabbalah accessories throughout the world. One of Berg’s bestselling accessories is his red string bracelet, which comes in a package of ten and works as an amulet to ward off the “evil eye.” A couple of other hot sellers are anti-stress candles and Kabbalah water, which according to Berg “has been imbued with Ancient Kabalistic Meditations.”
Although I’m sure it is to the chagrin of celebrity Scientologists like Tom Cruise, Kristie Alley, and John Travolta, it does appear that the Kabbalah is fast becoming the new cult of choice among Hollywood celebrities. Counted among the Kabbalah’s many celebrity converts are Roseanne Barr, Sandra Bernhard, and Madonna—who has changed her name to “Esther,” drinks only Kabbalah water, and sells souvenir T-shirts at her concerts proclaiming “Kabbalists do it better.” Among Hollywood celebrities known to wear the Kabbalah’s red string bracelet are Ashton Kutcher, Paris Hilton, and Britney Spears—who also has Hebrew letters tattooed on her back and intially planned to “deliver her baby in a pool filled with 1,000 one-liter bottles of specially blessed Kabbalah water.”
It’s not just Hollywood looney tunes who are inebriated on Kabbalah water. While serving as Florida’s Secretary of State, Congresswoman Katherine Harris, oversaw a program in which canker-infested orange trees were treated with “Celestial Drops” from Kabbalah water. The program was predictably unsuccessful and declared by a state scientist “a hoax…not based on credible science.” Harris has since distanced herself from the debacle by saying she was told the product was invented by “Israeli scientists.”
Don Walton
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