Stamped by the Government
23 May 2007
Have you bought your “forever stamps”? According to the United States Postal Service, the new 41 cent stamps are good forever. That’s right; regardless of future postage rate hikes, the new 41 cent stamps can be used indefinitely. Of course, all of this is contingent upon your possession of an infinite supply of “forever stamps.” Thus, if you wish to save a few cents on all future mailings you need only invest your life savings with the United States Postal Service.
No more investing in risky stocks and bonds, Americans can now invest in guaranteed postage. Rather than taking a chance on some obscure, up-and-coming company, we can now invest in that longstanding icon of governmental efficiency the United States Postal Service. Why take a chance with the Dow Jones when you can make a sure investment in the USPS, an investment undeterred by rain, sleet or snow?
I find the Post Office’s new “forever stamps” very typical of our government today. We’re asked to make a personal maximum investment in exchange for a government promised minimum return. And in this case, the minimum return is not even guaranteed, but contingent upon our longevity and continual patronage of the United States Postal Service. Furthermore, this slight of hand provides cover for our government to continue overcharging us for its gross incompetence and inefficiency. For instance, despite the USPS’s notorious reputation for inefficiency, it will now be able to counter all criticism of future postage rate hikes with its benevolent offer of “forever stamps.”
It is true that I need never pay more than 41 cents for a stamp again; but it is equally true that in order to avoid all future postage rate hikes I must fork over enough of my hard-earned cash to buy a lifetime supply of “forever stamps.” If I fail to do so, opting to spend my money on other things besides stamps, then I have no one to blame but myself. I’ll have forfeited my right to complain by refusing to invest my life savings in an incompetent government agency. So what will it be, my money or my murmuring? Either way, I’m stamped!
Don Walton
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